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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4355653
Review #4355653
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by A Guest Visitor
         Review for entry/chapter: "Invalid EntryOpen in new Window.
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Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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Review brought to you by:
"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Creeper Of The Realm Author Icon

OVERALL IMPRESSION -
You did well with your HoBW and Daily Flash entry, leaving the darkness to hit the reader at the very end.

WHAT I LIKED BEST -
Sam's excitement with her fortune cookies. I think we all get this way, hoping for a good one when we break them open.

PLOT~
Sam is a regular at the Chinese Restaurant and is looking forward to opening the cookie, musing about how all of hers have been accurate. She enjoys her black tea and savors her biscuit before she reaches for the fortune cookie.

CHARACTER(S)~DESCRIPTION~
John the waiter who is kind to Sam. Sam who is completely happy dining alone on this night, itching to find out what her fortune might be. I loved the use of the word giddy, reminding me of a school girls excitement. And then the fortune is read, and Sam again is surprised by how true it is, even if it is a little too late.

I could see her sitting there in the restaurant, the excitement building as she gets ready to read her fortune.

DIALOG~
Only a little dialogue here with John, and then Sam's inner thoughts, right up until she muses over her fortune. I loved that she laughed about it, as if that fortune should have come sometime earlier to prevent her from taking that evil path, though I get the feeling it wouldn't have stopped her. Nice job.

TECHNICAL~
John wicked - winked??

news of the death of Mr.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/26/2017 @ 1:36am EDT
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