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Review #4320341
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She wanted him Open in new Window. [13+]
So she threw a party
by WakeUpAndLive~doingNaNo'24 Author Icon
Review of She wanted him  Open in new Window.
Review by Elycia Lee ☮ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*GREETINGS!!!*Rainbowl**Rainbowr*

*Owl3* Overall Impressions/ Random Chatter:
I found it interesting that you chose to write this piece with a second person perspective, which is a rather rare choice. Everything is just so smooth for the main character (i.e. she got what she wants). And now, I know what is your idea of an awesome party. *Laugh* I guess this is what you call a flash fiction. It's short and sweet. You told an interesting story with very little words. I like how you revealed to the readers what's going on inside the lady's head, how you introduced the situation and the problem, then the solution and a resolution. It's very neatly structured and a lot achieved in a mere 298-word piece. Great flow, simple but effective characterisation, mostly focused on the main character, apt description to move the story along. I love most how you described the main character's yearning for the guy. Great job!

*Owl3* Typos/ Grammar:
*Duck* There was meat... so the barbeque was a great success.

*Owl3* Favourite Parts:
*Trainp* There was meat with and without spices, delicious salads, and French bread; there were bubbles, there was music and good weather, so the barbecue was a great success.
*Trainp* Her head was in a spin, and it was very difficult to keep her wits about it.
*Trainp*... she saw that he knew what she was up to. And he played along. They both had a wonderful hour of fun.

Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On! *Heart*


Elycia Lee ☮ Author IconMail Icon

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