%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4319366 |
 | SPRING is on!  [E] The landscape is transformed, awakened by Spring!  |
| (4.5)| Hi Maria Mize My name is Ken and I'm pleased to read and comment on your work "SPRING is on!" on behalf of "Earth Day Challengers" . First Impression/Thoughts: This is a celebration of spring and a testament to your love of the season   Creativity/Impact:This is a very original take on an Acrostic. I've never seen one done this way but, having seen and read it, wow! Very creative and effective!  Message/Theme: Uhhh, Earth Day?  Okay, I'm a bit prejudiced since this is an Earth Day activity LOL. Seriously, this is about the beauty that nature offers as spring transforms the land. Technique/Technical Notes: I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. I encourage you to consider what I offer but always follow your instinct and heart. You are the poet. Title: Straight forward. It caught my attention and will surely catch the attention of other readers. The "teaser" line (or description  ) offers an opportunity to add some clarification and can also be a great tool to attract more readers. Again, creative and informative. Grammar/Wording: You've chosen words that reflect your own joy in the coming of spring and imply a vibrant, moving world. A few of the words, however, seemed a bit off. "Nigh drawing" which I read as "Nearly coming" seemed in conflict with lively dance. The same with "Quickening gradual" which are themselves in conflict. I also noticed "blooms peak" and I think you meant "peek". These were just my thoughts and reactions. Form/Flow: I've already applauded you creativity for this. I think you've derived a very interesting take on the Acrostic form. Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:  An enjoyable and lively read. The rebirth of the Earth during spring has to be one of the most beautiful times of the year. Thank you for allowing me to enjoy it with you as well as sharing your imagination and talent with me today.Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more. Keep writing! Wishing you all the best for Earth Day 2017, Ken
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
You responded to this review 04/24/2017 @ 8:14pm EDT