Hi Andy~hating university .
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  [13+] and "I Write in December-January-February"  [E].
I have just read your poem "Invalid Item" , which I found when I posted my own entry to Week #10 of the I Write contest and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
Cute contest entry. I don't think I have even seen one that uses emoticons as part of the prompt. That is a very cool idea and I think you handled very well. I had a good laugh at poor Vrock. I love the picture of the Martian at the top of your entry.


Characters:
Poor martian, Vrock had the misfortune of dealing with a flat tire when he drove over a clock.


Favourite Lines:
I find your English terminology adds to the piece - prat and gleaker. they are descriptive in there way and they work much better than any Canadian version.
Drove his car like a prat is so much better than Drove his car like an idiot. Easier to rhyme it as well.


Suggestions:
I see no spelling or grammar issues of concern.
It looks good to me.

Additional Comments:
Good luck in the contest. This is a new contest for me. Sounds good. I will have to take a peek and see some of the other entries. You do such a good job incorporating the emoticons, it will be hard to beat.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .