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Review #4283211
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Rated: | (4.0)
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*RainbowL* Just a reminder I am here to review and give suggestions. Any of which are my opinion and you can use them or not. Both are given with reverence for your style of writing and hope to help not just you but myself as well. If you have any questions about the review or suggestions don't be afraid to reply, email, or IM me in response. We are all learning to be better writers, including myself. *Smile*


*Leaf2g* Good Points:
You have a unique way of sticking to the prompt with the limited word count and the holiday theme. It's an unexpected turn since I was unsure if it was going to be humorous, horror, or some other type of fiction.

*Leaf2r* Grammatical Problems?
Perhaps some trouble with verb tense? As I have difficulty, sometimes, with these "flash blink" tales.

*Leaf2o* Overall Characterization and World View:
Since the tale is so small I have no problems with the world view - however, because of the verb tense the characterization is difficult for me.

You begin with telling the reader that "it's that time of year again." This purposes that you do something in a traditional fashion and your family continuously "...files a last seen wearing report." on someone every year. This is part of the reason I thought it might be humorous because I had the idea of the person going out in search of holiday lights in some remote section of the house because they always got lost searching for them. I get the sense that whatever it is that happened may have happened in the past.

But then....In the second and third paragraph, however, you mention things in the present instead of the past. Such as, "My brother set off for work..." and "We gather around..."

*Leaf2br* Suggestions:
Try and pay attention to verb tense. If you start with past tense or present tense, stay with one or the other. That way the reader will have no confusion about where your story is.

*Yinyang* Last but not Least:*BigSmile*
I will say I had an interesting time reading this short piece. Remember I'm not an expert at reviewing these short "blink" pieces and you may do with my suggestions what you will. I think you have a unique story here.

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 12/16/2016 @ 12:42am EST
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