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![]() | Trinity ![]() A cinquain..... ![]() |
I found your poem in your portfolio. I'm reviewing it for the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ![]() ![]() ![]() General Comments - To me, poetry is music composed with words rather than notes. Words are sounds whether spoken aloud or read from a page because you hear them inside your head. But also, the words in a poem should convey a definite mood, emotion, image, or tell a story. With structured poetry, there is a defined rhythm attained through the strict number of syllables for each line. In this case, the author has chosen a cinquain for his vehicle of expression. The title and the theme of the poem match perfectly. It is a comparison between the habits of certain species of birds and humans - aspects of life we have in common. A simple parallel, but effective nonetheless The syllable count per line requirements of the cinquain style has been met perfectly, so no faults for technique. Word choice and aethetics - Sparrows - flit the high void. Sparrows are small birds and flit is a small, light word which conveys the quick beat of small wings. I like the fact it is a singular staccato note in an otherwise legato or smooth-sounding string of words. Ravens conjure rainbows - good alliteration. Also, I love the image it creates in my mind. Swans abide love life-long. These three; like us - again good alliteration and the initial S of the swans is so satisfyingly reflected in the S of us at the end. All in all your poem, in my opinion, is a wonderful example of the cinquain form. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() A "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ![]() Encouraging the pursuit of excellence
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