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Review #4271983
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Review of  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: | (4.0)
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Hi Rakkit Author Icon,I found your writing ad random. Hopefully, this review will find you in good spirit. *Delight*

On Title/Subject
The title and sub-line are well chosen. It fits the content of this spooky dark and twisted horror story. It's the mysterious fantasy tale of an old demonic wizard who raped, murdered and killed in order to create a demonic creature from the devilish realm of the occult. This female monstrous creature appears from the inside of a tree and joins him in an act of copulation. A child is created that's been picked up by a woman. The occult continues in this open ending.

General impressions
For me, as a reader from a non-English country, the first part of the story was not easy to read. I had to look up some words you used and the way you described the wizard in his quest and meet with the occult was not easy to wrap my mind around. Yet the prose you used and the way this story goes had grabbed my attention immediately so I couldn't let go. I wanted to read on.

Favorite Parts
The tree shook as if in answer and he looked at it. Looked at the high roots that swept upward and out in curling tendrils, at the point of each branch that oozed viscous liquid. The branches groaned and swayed in a nonexistent wind, casting sickly shadows across his face. His breath caught in his throat, his angry words dying before they could pass from cracked lips. The air was full of the smell of sweet decay that reminded him of dried dead things.

Very powerful description of the setting of the story.

The skin was smooth, oily and reflective, reminiscent of the shell of a beetle. Small faces laid imprinted against the surface, as if pressed against the pane of window. The hands were tiny, with claws that seemed too long to belong to such dainty, gangly arms. The legs hunched, spread to spines that seemed to connect and give the illusion of serpents.

Great description of the monstrous creature.

Suggestions
There are no spelling or grammar errors found. This story has two parts, not only in plot but also in writing style. Perhaps you could try to mash the two together so there is no style difference?

Final thoughts
All in all a very unsettling and spooky horror story/mystery with a great atmosphere of dark loom. The occult is described very well. I hope I can sleep tonight. Although it's ending has been featured before in many horror stories it is a realistic ending to the story.

Keep up the good work, enjoy writing!

WakeUpAndLive

   *CheckG* You responded to this review 11/12/2016 @ 2:05pm EST
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4271983