Great potential.

I had to read that last line twice to make sure it was Joe who said the "I do believe I am" and not the Warden.

I'm unsure if the Warden is in on it as well. The darting eyes could signal guilt, fear, dishonesty, caution etc as could the walking faster. I believe the intention is that the Warden is not of the same ilk as Joe, but I'm unsure if he is aware of Joe's actions or not. Is he just creeped out by his teeth? Or is he beholden to Joe's (assumed) demonic nature? An extra few words making this clear wouldn't go astray.

Nice writing anyway, hope to read more of it.


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Johny Thundersbeard
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"The Steampunk Authors' Guild " 
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WDC Author of the Month May 2012
30DBC Administrator, Judge & Rejigger 2012.
Forum Master "Invalid Item"  2016.

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