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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4257933
Review #4257933
Viewing a review of:
 Three Weird Sisters--Chapter 1 Open in new Window. [E]
First chapter of a YA novel
by Weirdone-Back in the games Author Icon
Review by Starling Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A CHAPTER ONE REVIEW
Sponsored by the NEW Novel Workshop
The opinions contained in this review are subjective, with intent to be honest and helpful.
Please take that which you find useful, and toss the rest with good cheer.


Greetings {huser:Weirdone-Back in the games }

I am reviewing "Three Weird Sisters--Chapter 1Open in new Window. today as part of the "The Chapter One Competition.Open in new Window..
THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING OUR MANDATORY PHRASE, "HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, WDC!" IN PARAGRAPH ## !


In the interest of clarity, I will be using the following conventions in my review:
Your Words: Bold Black{}
My Impressions as I read: Bold Green
Editing Suggestions:Bold Red


Plot::
We are introduced to three sisters. A man pulls up in a Lincoln town car and talks to Tracy and Sheila who are playing in the rain. He gives Sheila a present and tells her not to open it until after dark, then drives away. They go inside and when Tracy tries to take the present from Sheila it gives her an electric shock.

Hook:
Nice hook in the opening paragraph. The reader is now wondering who the man is and why he is heading to Middleboro.

Characters Development:

Amanda
Tracy
Sheila
Strange man
Mrs. Wade


Dialogue:
I had no difficulty tell who was talking, just by the words the different people used. Excellent job.

Punctuation and Structure:
... little bit startled when she sudddenly (spelling error) started to recite ...

... that your judgement (spelling error) about ...

... that your judgement (spelling error) about ...



Closing Statement
I enjoyed reading the story. You have a nice twist going with both good and evil being within the same family. Thank you for posting.

Starling

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Cross Timbers Novel Workshop On Hiatis Open in new Window. (E)
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#2088228 by Carol St.Ann Author IconMail Icon


   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/09/2016 @ 11:11am EDT
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