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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4256739
Review #4256739
Viewing a review of:
 The Righteous Hand Open in new Window. [ASR]
The supernatural tales of Lazarus Grey
by Sciwriter Author Icon
Review by Starling Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A CHAPTER ONE REVIEW
Sponsored by the NEW Novel Workshop
The opinions contained in this review are subjective, with intent to be honest and helpful.
Please take that which you find useful, and toss the rest with good cheer.


Greetings sciwriter

I am reviewing "The Righteous Hand" Open in new Window. today as part of the "The Chapter One Competition." Open in new Window..
THANK YOU FOR INCLUDING OUR MANDATORY PHRASE, "HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, WDC!" IN PARAGRAPH ## !
Title and Author:

In the interest of clarity, I will be using the following conventions in my review:
Your Words: Bold Black{}
My Impressions as I read: Bold Green
Editing Suggestions:Bold Red

Plot::
Lazarus Grey is a demon hunter. He is sent to different spots to hunt and destroy various types of demons. The main one in this chapter is Rafan, a demon in the upper crust of the Devils lair. He is tricked, but ends up figuring out how to beat the demon and destroy it anyway.

Hook:
You start out with a good hook and give it a solid punch with the second paragraph.

Opening Sentence and Paragraph:
The first paragraph is excellent. It makes you want to read more to find out what is really happening. You want to find out who "I" is and why the demon is there.

Characters Development:

Lazarus Grey - demon hunter
Rafan - demon


Dialogue:
I had no trouble understanding who was talking by just the words they used.

Punctuation and Structure:
I did not mark any of what I would consider spelling errors because I know you are from the UK.


Closing Statement
I enjoyed this piece. You haven't described Grey in any great detail, but I am picturing him as sort of an older Indiana Jones type character. Normally I don't read horror stories, because they tend to have a lot of blood and guts to them. You have been able to present fear and bravery against that fear without falling into a gory trap. Thank you for submitting.

Starling

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/07/2016 @ 3:33am EDT
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