Hello, I am reviewing for Game of Thrones.
This is a good story, it has good details, it moved along smoothly. The characters seemed realistic and likable. Your wording in the story made it easy to read through. You did a good job of showing instead of telling.
I did see some mistakes in this piece that are simple to fix, these are only recommendations of changes not something set in stone.
Look at capitalizing saloon if it's a part of the name of the car. Dad's Mercedes Saloon. I am not familiar with a car being named a saloon but then cars are not my strong suit.
"Aside from the sea Danny could hear nothing else which only added to the uneasy feeling he had as he looked over the old Hotel." I recommend adding a comma after sea and make the capital H and lower case because it describes the building not saying the actual name. It took me some time read through that to make sure it wasn't the name you were referring to.
"Even in the moonlight Danny could see the chipped paint on the facade, a least two cracked windows and a low roof with several slates missing." instead of low roof you might replace it with sagging roof, it shows more than just says that the roof is low. Unless you are describing the height of the roof then you might leave it alone.
Fifteen - needs to be lower case.
Father's - lower case, not calling his proper name.
demeanour - take out the u. unless you are not in the U.S. If this is actually spelled correct, leave it alone.
Father was dark tanned - Lower case
All your "Dad's" need to be lower case, you are not calling him by proper name.
"Her smile grew wider as she brushed a lock of hair back from her brow. Danny judged the woman to be in her early thirties, handsome rather than pretty with shoulder length brown hair..." What is the difference between handsome and pretty?
""Who are they?" take out one quotation mark.
"As one the group..." you might add a comma after one. It doesn't sound as rushed.
At the end, the ghost picked up an unconscious person? It doesn't really seem likely. I could be wrong it's your story. A good one at that.
Keep writing. Thank you for sharing.