\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4243991
Review #4243991
Viewing a review of:
 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello, I am reviewing for Game of Thrones and found this piece in your portfolio.
I found it to be easy to read through. The characters were realistic. I like that the characters actually like each other and know each other before they get married. Most don't know each other let alone like each other. Newly married couple, I see that Jenna is shy but it seems at this gala was the first time she had said "I love you" to Robert. That to me doesn't show that she likes him.
You might look at rewording the paragraph that begins with "For a woman, you're pretty quiet." It took me a couple of times reading it to understand what you meant by the full sentence. When I first read it I thought red might have been a pet dog. The sentence seems too busy. At this point in the story I had not realized how much this woman blushed. Why is it that she is confident with other people but shy with her own husband who she is suppose to be intimate with. I do like the playfulness between the characters. The fact that he picks up on her cues as to what would make her happy.
Overall this is a good story. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing.
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4243991