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Review #4243677
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Review by dblameck (David) Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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A review for the House of Greyjoy


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Review of A Heart's Betrayal

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions. This review was done for the Game of Crowns contest.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I presume this starts with a discussion between two sisters about an affair that one has been having and is being talked about all over town. It then moves to the woman confronting the man she is having the affair with. That does not go well and then finally is another conversation with I am not sure who.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Betty, Andrew, Zach and maybe Patricia. Quote marks are not used in all places and this cause me to find it difficult to follow the patterns.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Define who is speaking to who and when. I have read through this several times and it is good dialogue when you know which character is speaking.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Make it easier for your reader to follow what is being said to who and what is just an aside thought.

dblameck


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