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Review #4239488
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The Gift Open in new Window. [E]
WC110612 Use this sentence in your entry: I just couldn't pass it up. A girl and her gift.
by A*Monaing*Faith Author Icon
Review of The Gift  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with House of Sensual Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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"Game of Thrones"  Open in new Window. by Creeper Of The Realm Author Icon

PLOT -
Two people escape demon hounds, running as fast and as far as they can trying to keep her gift, and the crystal from her mother safe. It is dire that she keep it with her and not let anyone take it from her, not even her rescuer at this time.

SETTING -
Really good job of showing what it was like running through the jungle, with the branches hitting her face. The cool water on her feet was a nice touch as they hurt and ached from their travels. Really easy to picture everything around them as they made their way to safety.

CHARACTERS -
There is a little confusion here. First you start with Angelo helping her, and then Donuskae is catching fish. Did you make a name change and forget to go back and correct it? Is there a third person in the story? I did like the girl, wish she had a name, but it was all in her point of view so I could follow along well enough.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING/DIALOGUE -
Even with their unnatural senses the demon hounds couldn’t find us without Necromancer's help

THOUGHTS -
Really vivid and quick read as they made they escape. It hooked me right from the beginning and kept me eager to reach the end to see what happened to the pair. The crystal is a good element to have as it has a shroud of mystery surrounding it, as well as her gift. What will that turn out to be? Good imagery with the face in the ball telling her to not trust Angelo just yet. Interesting story. You used the prompt well. Write on!
House Greyjoy image for G.o.T.

This would be my name.
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/18/2016 @ 6:07pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4239488