Plot/story elements:

Did I feel attached to the story or poem?

The beginning you could tell there was trouble between Sheila and Mrs. Fangoli. And Mrs. Fangoli said some sarcastic and dry statements about Sheila.

The line his nose bled like Mt. Vesuvius was clever.


Would I recommend this piece of writing to someone else?

I think I would deepen the plot so that we can really tell why Mrs. Fangoli has a problem with Sheila, enough of a problem to arm herself with a knife anway. I think we need some background there. I get the idea that she didn't like Sheila and found her annoying but that's a far cry from murder.


Was there a clear purpose to it?

I had trouble understanding the purpose. There didn't seem anything major to lead up to the idea that Mrs. Fangoli and Sheila were going to attack each other. I would love for you create some background there. They must share some sordid history.


Glows:

It was written well. You could tell the characters had a history of being around in the neighborhood together. The characters' dialog fits with the other story elements.



Grows:

Why did Mrs. Fangoli attack Sheila like that? I just feel like we're missing a part of the story but I would love it if you elaborated more on that relationship.



Miscellaneous Comments:


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~Tsa~ House of Greyjoy







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .