Hi Amay ,

This review is a part of "Game of Thrones"  [13+].

Overall Impression:

I like this poem. It makes its point very well.

Your faith comes through clearly in this poem. How whoever we are, wherever we live, we are all a part of God's universe. I like how you zoom in on that, as though looking through a galactic telescope, starting with the large universe and going all the way down to Earth, your country, your home, your family. That creates a clear imagery, and something everyone can relate to, doing the same zooming in process for themselves and their family.

On the technical side of things, I found that this poem reads well. I had no problem with the rhythm and the flow, and I like the structure that you have chosen. Well done!

Suggestions:

Stanza 8:

From this stanza onward, I would place a comma after "Jacksonville" in the repeated line. This would aid the rhythm and flow.

I like your use of punctuation. That aids the overall reading experience. I would also allow the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend on the individual sentences within the piece. I think that that would perfect the overall clarity and make it even easier to instantly pick up on the rhythm and flow.

My Rating:

This is a nice, original, creative poem. I was glad that I got to read it.

I did have a couple of suggestions. One is more of a personal preference, I suppose. The other was a little punctuation mark. I will give your item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work, and write on!

Kit




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .