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 Review #4227370 |
| (5.0)| Hi Charlie ~  It's been a pleasure to review your "Invalid Entry" on behalf of "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" .This is just a quick opinion..  Overall impression?I don't know how did I find this one but I remember liking a lot of parts in it. This is probably one of your poems where your writing style is recognizable the most. Now when I go over your older stuff.. man.. you've been through a lot. You seriously should think of publishing because you have so many awesome writing in your portfolio here. Anyway, I loooooove the opening lines here. I somehow think you're the best with those but I have to tell you that I'm not a fan of your last line. It just doesn't go well with the rest of the poem. I haven't decided who I am.. God, this is just perfect. Slipping between closing doors, my wrists are paper thin.. everything here is just super presented as one feeling of hollow existence. I can't single out which stanza is the best, as I read it it grows bigger love inside.  Other days, the room floodswith water and I escape through the drain. I have no idea how you came to this stanza, I will put it as one of my favorites from you ever. I'm filthy, blasphemous, obscene. Okay, I've got the point here as well. All those words you used- medicated, studious, unfettered, different character and then you have "fallen angel". Uh.. why? I understand the meaning of fallen angel but the rest of your poem just seems too raw to compare it to mythology creature. Well, I know you're angel   and you probably feel like one and on days like this, when you don't, you feel more dark and I understand. I just think it's kind of disconnected from the rest of the poem that is more written from the perspective of ill person or something (you mentioned medicated and studious so it makes me think this poem is about some kind of side effects from the medication you're using?). Awesome writing my friend. Thank you so much for letting me know how it feels. All smiles..  ~Minja~ Founder of "WdC Kind Hearts" Resident host at "Once Upon a Jane Austen Activity"  Be courageous and try to write in a way that scares you a little    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 06/27/2016 @ 2:03am EDT