Hello Tam!
I feel the start of a story you need to be grab the reader in and you can't let them go. Your first two sentences start that for me with the imagery you create and how we are with a character in misery. Then we ask ourselves who put our main character in this place? What did they do to deserve this? So, you got me going and I'm hooked.

Below is my review of your item beginning with Corrections:

Corrections
The soft breaths that lifted his chest were the only signs he still lived. as he’d He'd long since stopped his restless struggles. -

You know you want to play with the wording of a sentence when you read then reread it again. I did that with this sentence and I have a suggestion to maybe smooth it out. As with all suggestions it's completely up to you and I hope it's helpful. I feel like breaking this up into two sentences is helpful for it reading better.

Something Fluttered and muted clangs filled the silence as an object struck the metal bar. -

I feel like something takes away from the strength of the description. So, this is just a suggestion to reformulate this sentence.

Under the wing, he realized with some trepidation.

He realized the wound was under the raven's wing after as he examined the bird.-

I reformatted this sentence and of course this is just a suggestion. The above sounded almost like an incomplete sentence and so my correction is above.

He ignored it and tied the cloth into a sloppy bow to keep it in place. His fingers weren’t deft thanks to his talons and his wrists were too weak to do a good job.-

Just a little spelling correction, to should be too in the above sentence.

Rhakanir stayed there long after the wing beats faded into nothing. and his empty heart stirred. Freedom His empty heart stirred with the raven's sense of freedom. -

A little reformulation breaking this into two sentences, since the "Freedom." Is a fragment without a verb or subject just turning that into a whole sentence.

Water trickled down the brickwork and the heavy scent of mould mold clung to the air.-

A little spelling fix, mould is mold.

Hope lit lifted from his arm and flew ahead of him as he ran, black hair tumbling into his eyes as he raced to the moonlit escape. -

Just another little spelling fix, lit I'm guessing should be lifted.

Characters in your Story
So, you have two main characters in this, the magician and Hope the raven. You did a really great job with the descriptions you have of the two of them. I find that it's hard to build up a character of an animal because you have to give even more of what their ticks are like, and the soul within the animal. I could see Hope easily in my mind and I loved reading about their connection.

Things Which I Enjoyed
A part of him wanted to get up and fight, but his body would never allow it. They’d taken his amulet, and his magic retreated to a place he could no longer reach. As a result, his blood turned to water in his veins and he would stagger if he tried to walk. He’d been in this cell for so long his eyes watered even when the guards brought their torches in. Sometimes they abused him, sometimes not, and today he laid on his back and let it overwhelm him. -

Okay, this above is some descriptive writing with great imagery. You put us in the moment with your character and I wanted to highlight this part as an example of one of the few parts that I enjoyed.

Shrewd black eyes scanned every stained feature as if to discern the truth of the words for itself. He never doubted some animals were intelligent, as his brother - his opposite - lived in the forest as guardian and spoke to many of them. -

I'm a huge animal lover so that's what attracted me to this piece... also, really big on fantasy pieces as well. I think you hit it spot on with this description of the intelligence in animals and the visual of this bird.

Rhakanir looped his claw through the chain and drew it toward himself, then gasped. The keys to the dungeons swung on his fingers, metal clicking against his talons. Hope had brought him his freedom if his magic would come back enough to make use of it.-

This part above made me smile. I was hoping that Hope might return and deliver our main character his freedom. I know that Raven's are incredibly intelligent and can actually fasten tools to get food. There's real stories of them using traffic lights to open nuts, believe it or not, so you really portray Hope as a real character as if this bird is a human.

Overall Comments
Overall, I found this a really done piece and it kept me very engaged. You should be proud of your descriptions of Hope and the magic that the magician had at the end of the story. It's always difficult within a fantasy story to describe the feeling of magic and how it's released from the body. Please tell me there is more to this story? I'd love to read more about these two characters and the magician exacting his revenge on the King. If not, this is a strong stand alone piece. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .