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Review #4223812
Viewing a review of:
Billy and Susan Open in new Window. [E]
Writer's Cramp Prompt 6/7, write FROM the POV of a yo-yo. Word count: 786, Winner
by NeedingBeachDuf 🐠⛵🏝️ Author Icon
Review of Billy and Susan  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
created by marphilhearts & gifted by siscok

Hi NeedingBeachDuf 🐠⛵🏝️ Author Icon!



What brought Hoovsie meandering in a space time continuum over to your port?

*Cow* I am the judge for today in "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

What does hoovsie think about while perusing your item?

*Cool**Idea* First of all, I like the fact that you gave the narrator, the yo-yo, the name of Billy. That helps me to personify him in my mind. Somehow, that makes me more sympathetic to his situation and giving the others names was good, too.

I could identify strongly with the feeling of being passed over, and I am quite familiar with the goings on at Target as I am there fairly often. I could picture it all as I read and was rooting for Billy to find a home.

I saw one typo to mention:

In the 4th paragraph from the top you have this:

"...will look passed all of them" In this situation, "passed" should be "past".

What does hooves moo and applaud about while reading your item?

*Thumbsup*This was my favorite part, right before the miracle of the ending:

"Several times over the next week when I heard "Get the red one" I was devastated when they meant a cigarette lighter, a tube of Chapstick and a pack of gum. Not me. Not the 99 cent Duncan Yo-Yo.

I tried my best not to listen to the checkout conversations. I found a mantra to sooth my sad soul. I joined in with "Have a Coke and a smile."

When I read that, I had a tear in my eye for Billy, but it turned into the happy tear by the end.

I loved this story, start to finish! Bravo!

HOOVES, a.k.a. COWser Soze, a.k.a. tHiNG a.k.a. 4ps

*Thumbsupr*PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT*Thumbsupl*

I am not an expert on poetry or prose or much else. I am merely a reader who loves to read. If I send a review, it means I enjoyed my reading experience enough to let you know it. I travel to many galaxies and pick my reading carefully, just as I pick my hay carefully.

*Sun*END OF PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT*Tulipp*


Ta Ta until we meet again in another place and time....

"Avoiding Toothless Rabid Bullies & Such" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 06/07/2016 @ 3:33pm EDT
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