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Review #4219372
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.0)
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*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Erik! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Fairy* Oh, this is truly dark and sad in theme and to think about.
Having the poem in a child-like simple rhyme is a wonderful contrast to the horrific event. Good ploy. *Thumbsup*

It reads like a little nursery rhyme with simple words that repeat with a true rhyme scheme til the last line. Not having it rhyme gives the line emphasis as an unexpected punch line. The shorter midline is effective as well. It feels a bit like a limerick in reading it aloud--but so NOT funny. *Wink*

I like how you lead us and without saying what the toy is--leaves it to us to imagine. It is still not a pretty imagining.

You need a period after the first and second line I think as they are complete thoughts.

The genre headings are perfect for this poem though not everyone might like to ponder it. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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