Hi troy ulysses davis ,

I chose to review your item today as one of my reviews for "a very Wodehouse challenge" 

Form and first impression:

I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of the Japanese poetry forms, but I enjoyed this clever little poem.

I certainly don't think I've ever come across an acrostic senryu before - I even tried Googling it, but the only hits were this poem and one other one by you Is this a form of your own creation?

Your poem meets the requirements for a senryu in that it has the 5/7/5 syllable count and is about humanity.

Impression:

I love the visual of the commuters running around. I used to commute to work, but, thankfully, I'm now only a five minute walk to work. My journey used to entail two trains and an hour and half journey.

People travelling to and from work always seem to be in a rush. I can understand the rush to get home, but what's the rush to get to work all about?

Favourite part:

Yes, I actually had a favourite part, and it's the last word in your poem "synchronicity". I like the link to the Jungian concept that events can be connected by meaning. Your use of it comparing it to commuters' journeys to and from work is a clever play on the concept.

Thank you for sharing this item! Please keep on writing!

Andy~hating university


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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .