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Review #4194536
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Review by Shaye Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (5.0)
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Hi Elle - on hiatus Author Icon,

I am Lorraine and I am reviewing your piece "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. today in affiliation with "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window..

*Flowerw* This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts" Open in new Window. *Flowerw*


First Impression: I can relate to this, but my parents could probably relate in the opposite direction too. *Laugh* I can be sat there, telling them a story, and they're both on their phones ignoring me, it's definitely infuriating and you got this point across well in this short story.

Plot: You introduce the story with the parents saying, "we need to talk". Terrifying, just as David feels. In the end, it gets turned around, with tension being built as David pours out everything he's been thinking and then disappears into his room. You build tension as the parents quietly talk and David wonders what's going to happen. You've got a good resolution, pleasing for both the characters and the reader. A feel-good story. *Smile*

Characterisation: David is a likable character, that's active, although is always seeking his parents' approval. He's not afraid to stand up for himself and is likable. His parents also aren't afraid to admit when they're wrong, which is good and makes them decent characters as well. Both characters are realistic, especially the parents and this helps make that story more personal to the reader.

Spelling/Grammar: No errors spotted!

Closing Thoughts: Thanks for the entertaining, almost true read! *Bigsmile*

Lorraine

Reviewed as part of "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.
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Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were going to do anyway! Robert Downey Jr.


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/07/2016 @ 5:58pm EST
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