Man vs. Metal [13+] Title says it all. |
Hi Cinn , I am Lorraine and I am reviewing your piece "Man vs. Metal" today in affiliation with "Simply Positive Review Forum " . This is a review from "WdC Kind Hearts" Title: Indeed, the title does say it all. The poor man couldn't get the door open until with a final attempt, everything happens at once. First Impression: I chose this to review as the image was familiar, as were a few of the short stories. A bit cliche, but overall a good read. Plot: You've got the repeated attempts at opening the door building tension and the final reveal of what is inside at the very end. Great job! Setting: I might be insane, but this seems a little poetic, even though it's a flash fiction piece. You've got some great metaphors, comparing the van to a beast. I don't think you ever actually state what the item being opened was, so that adds a sort of mystery to the item, along with the fact the banana aspect isn't revealed until the very end. The one thing I might mention is your overuse of the word "green". You've got three uses here, in quite a short amount of time. Spelling/Grammar: No errors spotted! Closing Thoughts: A good little read, can't say I remember it. It might've been one of the days I didn't judge though. Lorraine ** Image ID #1934576 Unavailable ** Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were going to do anyway! Robert Downey Jr. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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