Hello!



It's Marci Missing Everyone . I am reviewing your piece because you won an in-depth review from me in Panda's Simply Positive Holiday Raffle. Let's discuss this poem over a soothing "cup of tea". Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day.

Introduction - You have the perfect introduction. A title, hook line, and image. These are the things that draw people in. And, I'm a huge reader along with being a writer, so of course I want to read something about books.

Imagery - I enjoyed reading this poem from the book's point of view. Very interesting take on the subject of books.

Tone & Mood/Emotional Impact - The mood of the poem went from cynicism to enjoyment and finally to reality. In a poem this short, it was kind of disconcerting. There are ways to get the same message across without the pull in different directions. It's difficult for the reader to follow along this way.

Rhyme, Form & Flow - I enjoy free verse poetry much more than I used to. I've begun to write more in that format as well. And while I normally enjoy your free verse, the structure of this poem was a little unsettling at times. The way you wrote the poem lends itself to form without punctuation. Pauses happen at each line break, so we don't need the extra periods. Let me critique the first verse, as this was the hardest one for me to read. The poem begins with "To many" and stops. I understand that using "too" represents quantity while "to" is a prepositional phrase. However, with only these two words on the top, it was difficult to see where poem was going, and I had to go back and reread the first few lines a couple of times. There is a way to make this flow better so that the reader can get right into the poem.

"To many people
I’m just a book.
A few hundred pieces of paper
with miscellaneous words and phrases
creating pointless sentences...

Finally in this verse, the word "fantasists" tripped me up on every reading, whether to myself or out loud. And the phrase "desk jockey" seemed out of place in both it's uses. What is that exactly? When I think of a desk jockey, I'm thinking a menial clerk who answers phones and pushes papers all day. Maybe if this is more of an English phrase, you could put a note at the bottom.

Poetic Devices noticed and used effectively - In your final verse, I have no critiques whatsoever. I think it is nicely structured and written. As far as poetical devices, there are several in this portion that made it a pleasing ending to the poem. I like the repetition of the word "me". It really brings home the personification of the book. There is some consonance and assonance in the words read/relief. That was a perfect pairing here. It doesn't exactly rhyme, but it is quite pleasing to the ear. Along with read/relief, the assonance is supported by me/bring.

"Pick me up
give me a read
I might surprise
and bring relief."

Favorite Lines/Stanzas - I love this verse, and wish the entire poem was more like this. Although I get that it wasn't what you were trying to say. In this verse, I would take out the word "though" in the second line.

"To some
though
I’m magic.
I have the capability
to whisk them away
to magical worlds
where snowmen can talk
or elves can sing
where trees come to life
and that desk jockey can escape
even the darkest of times."

I hope this review has helped you, and hope you don't feel I'm being overly critical. I think this poem could go from being good to great with some minor adjustments. Until next time... Live, Laugh, and Write...

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .