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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4154785
Review #4154785
Viewing a review of:
The Herald Open in new Window. [E]
The tempest screams a warning in the night.
by Angels in my Ear Author Icon
Review of The Herald  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello Angels in my Ear Author Icon. I found your poem listed on "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.. So, here I am. *Smile*

Overall Impression


When I read this poem, I know that it is about storms. I will be the first to admit that thunderstorms frighten me. This resulted from a lightning bolt racing through my window screen, across the living room, and out the other window screen. Yes, as weird as this sounds, it kept going. I was a youngster when this happened. It scared the heck out of me. As I read this poem, I could feel the tension, fear, and eeriness of it all. I was right there with you!

I enjoyed this poem.

Stanza 1


This stanza is written well. The solo sentence that follows, "A warning of its anger," is also well written.

Stanza 2


L2: and...howl
S1: "the" is not needed here. Removing it will not change the meaning.

L3: at the windows
S1: A comma would go well here. Why, you may ask? It will keep the flow of the reading smooth.

L7: at the glass
S1: Place a comma after "glass." It will keep the flow of the reading smooth.

Stanza 3


This stanza is well written. Great job!

Stanza 4


L4: It's...breath,
S1: Change "It's" to "It is." This is out of place. You do not use contractions anywhere else in this poem.
*Lightning2*Tip: Keep punctuation consistent.

Stanza 5


L1: The...up
S1: A comma would work well after "up." It reads easier.

L4: and...silence.
S1: Remove "then." It is unnecessary here.

Rating


*Star**Star**Star**Star**Halfstar*


Other


*Lightning2*Tip: Keep punctuation consistent.

WRITE ON!

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