Hi nate1953.
My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Gang's Monthly Review Board"  [13+] and the 15th Birthday Celebration here at Writing.com.
I have just read your 'excerpt from a literary novel'"Invalid Item" , which I found when clicking on the random review tab on the site. I wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please remember that I am not a professional and my opinions and thoughts are only meant to help you. Take what you can use and disregard anything you do not feel suits you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. The piece is ultimately yours and that must be honoured.


Overall Impressions:
I am not sure what to make of this... I will say I enjoyed it. Being an excerpt and chapter five, at that, I am coming into the middle of this story. The characters are intriguing, as is the situation.


Characters:
Because I am coming in at Chapter Five I needed to get my bearings quickly.
The main character is a girl - this I learned near the end of the piece. Her name is Rebecca - which is mentioned half way into the chapter.
Uncle James owns the home. He is rather eccentric and a professor.
Kelley I am guessing is the housekeeper.
Candace
Polish nurse,
Christian Hope is a 'viper in wickerwork' whatever that is. He is the person on the third floor of the house.


Setting:
An English house... prim and proper with a few oddities to make it intriguing.


Plot:
Unravels as a mystery, as I am just as curious about the strange other person in the house as the main character is. The pacing is well done.


Favourite Part:
I am intrigued by the wake up Rebecca gets in the wee hours of the morning. I felt that was well described.
The soft glow of the clock beside the bed showed 2:51. Although, just then, one of the small plates dropped — and it was 2:52.

"It had been quiet enough to hear the time change. Everything remained wrapped in the thickest kind of silence, and I was ready to think that I had been dreaming...."

"Definitely a man’s voice. But nothing like pain or fear. Just pure, unfocussed, toxic rage. The words themselves were filtered out by the venerable walls, so that just the emotion — just the fury — was coming through."

Suggestions:
I see no grammar of spelling concerns.
Not sure if you'd be willing to put a small synopsis of the early story to jsut give the reader more insight, though most elements are told in this chapter... I still don't know who Candace is.


Additional Comments:
I like the links to Facebook and the incitement to look for more of your recently completed story. I may consider the possibility.


I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging!





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .