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Given: Sep 5, 2015 at 3:01pm
Length: 1,113 Characters |
1,113 w/o WritingML
Hello! Thank you for choosing me to review this story. This was a great piece of work, I must say. To me, the most important part of a story is the characters. You created wonderful characters in this piece. I like how the names of the different personalities for Ester are all the same but with different spellings, clever.
Only a couple technical oversights I saw while reading this. When writing Washington, D.C., remember the periods between the D and the C. You had them the second time it was written but it was missed the first time. The word Congressional when writing congressional hearing does not need to be capitalized. One more thing I saw that it just a suggestion, is that when using shorthand, such as the VW, I would write it out the first time it is mentioned then after it is established, go ahead and abbreviate as you see fit.
On a personal note, this was a great story and I think it would be a great longer piece or maybe a piece for a magazine. Mental illness was so taboo back then and still to an extent is now, stories like this bring good awareness as well. Great job and Write On!
You responded to this review 09/05/2015 @ 3:27pm EDT
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