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Review #4148322
Viewing a review of:
 Galaxy Open in new Window. [E]
A poem about my true feelings for the one I will never have.
by insaneshayne Author Icon
Review of Galaxy  Open in new Window.
Review by ~ Aqua ~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi insaneshayne Author Icon ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

An unrequited love, tragic and I have heard of the idea a lot of times but read about a few of these topics. I found your poem in the list of short poems on WDC and I decided to read your poem because of the interesting title and because I thought that this would be completely scientific or something like that but I love your use of metaphor and comparison of your feelings and a galaxy. Is it because galaxy is really huge and no matter how many times stars meet each other, they will go away from each other and never meet or stay together?

The starting lines of your poem are good, they capture the reader's mind, and the reader can feel the longing in the first line. I liked your use of parallel and horizontal, although I think that instead of 'horizontal,' 'perpendicular' should be used because the opposite of parallel is perpendicular, not horizontal. It is horizontal and vertical, and perpendicular and parallel. I loved the second comparison in your poem about the candy how they twirl, swirl but never mingle. The internal rhyming and the rhyming overall in these lines was very good. The poetic devices added a good impact on the reader. The flow of your work was good and the vocabulary used was simple but entertaining and powerful to convey the deep and sad emotions to the reader. After reading the last three lines, I felt really sad and hopeless and then there was sympathy for the narrator. Excellent!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!
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