shouted go, spurring her to into a vicious freestyle stroke. typo

Kiavan looked around at the boats leaving white surges of wake to beat at them in the swimming area, at the layered though smooth walls of the canyons, before his gaze fell back on her.Awkward sentence; confusing--if you can edit before the contest consider a re-write on that.

he didn’t even bother to conceal the edge of panic in his voice. I see this type of phrased used more and more in stories and it is too slangy and inappropriate. The phrase goes- I wouldn't even consider...much less.... so saying he didn't even bother is not followed with a much less---

Her mother’s eyes narrowed and she clucked her tongue in a disapproving way. A simple sentence that gives so much depth to the mother. My mother clicked at me all the time. Nice touch!

No one even came sort of close to us.”
Maya didn’t even hestitate. hesitate
but he didn’t even seem to notice.
Try to write without using 'even'--learn it now or your writing will become infused with the phrase

White spots danced in her visionand her chest screamed for air,Typo