"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" 

Hello there Newbie! Welcome to WDC.
This is a Simply Positive Review.

I could feel the emotional push and pull and the determination to find a new normalcy in the life of this character. His wife's leaving on a Sunday and his reinvention of Sunday, making it a day to forget about her and keep himself occupied at his favorite watering hole, while the day moves on, without anymore grief or bad reminders in his mind.

Observations:

The sun arose bright and warm.
I see drops of rain sitting on the waterproof broccoli leaves. Waiting to disappear into the sun's warmth. The sun got kissed by a little rain early this morning. A little repetitive with the Sun, warmth and rain.

TRY: The morning sun rose bright and warm, following a brief rain storm. The moist droplets gleamed on the sturdy broccoli leaves. It was a beautiful, yet short-lived image, as the water soon evaporated into the heated air.

With help from my bloody sunday mary, [Sunday]

Since Tina left, I have replaced all her pitchers around the house with those of my cat. [pictures]


Your story hits the reader who has been through the death of a relationship. Add to that an abandonment that took place in an unexpected way, when a spouse just decides one day to leave the other, no warning just the harsh words and departure. That has to be a shock to the senses. Thus, this story stirs up all those emotions in a guttural way. That's a good thing -- to capture attention with such a bold slash at the emotions.


Loved the part about the garden and fresh vegetables. It was the strength of this character's personality, helping him to cope with his situation. Yet, in some way, he could feel the satisfaction of his wife's loss of the finer things in life she so loved from the garden. He felt a sense of justification and a bit of satisfaction over the vengeful punishment directed her way, at least in his mind.


You did a fine job with the attention grabbing and the emotional turmoil. With a little editing of the repetitive spots, it will be a much stronger story, having more impact on the reader.

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .