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Given: Jan 17, 2015 at 12:33pm
Length: 813 Characters |
719 w/o WritingML
Hi Ken,
I like this poem very much. I loved the rhyme and the meaning of the poem. I too like soundtracks/lyrics with meaning to them, and I absolutely love music that stirs some kind of emotion within me.
I thought that you could use a different word instead of sense in this line: I sense the deep emotions that they share This is because the persona already knows the deep emotion that's in the music, so he won't sense it. Also, I think we usually sense something that's external. This emotion is getting to the persona through music. Maybe a word like live or experience would do but experience will add the number of syllabus.
I enjoyed this beautifully written poem. Write on!
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