Hi! I saw your post on the newsfeed and this piece really connected with me when I read it so I thought I'd leave a review.

First impression:
I could feel the character speaking to me as I read this. The flow was great and the voice was clear. This was one of those pieces where you can hear someone telling you the story as you read.

Suggestions/things I noticed:
I noticed how Edward speaks more formally in the beginning- he doesn't contract his words? I'm not sure if that's intentional or not, but most people I know would be saying "we're" instead of "we are", especially if they're in a snappy mood like he was at the beginning.
Since the "Oh. Wait." part is more of Erin's internal thoughts than her actual narration, I would suggest italicizing that line to make it stand out from her narration and description of what is going on outside, instead of in her head.
"School mates" should be one word.
You say Edward shouted "No", but there doesn't seem to be much emphasis on the "No". How I read it (with the emphasis) was "'NO!'...'NO. You are NOT going to cry.'"

What I liked:
Your imagery was very clear. I could see certain scenes of this playing out as I read the story, like when Edward is trying to figure out what is wrong with Erin.
The narration and the thought process sound very age-appropriate for her. I feel that 13 year olds might be a little more innocent, but after what she has gone through, I can see how and why she sounds more mature.
The ending was intense! It was good, though. It felt raw, emotional, and very honest.

Overall:
I really liked this piece and I think the self-consciousness and the fear that Erin feels resonates very well through the whole thing. It reminded me of what happened to my friend and me in junior year of high school, although nothing that serious ever occurred. The adults sound reasonable for their positions and Erin sounds age-appropriate. You did a great job with this story! Keep writing!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .