}Review number # of week

Hi Cam

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: He Examined The Knife with Satisfaction

First Impression: I'm not sure it is a detective story as much as a murder story.

What I liked: The calculated feeling the narrator had throughout the story, he was clearly fixated on the crime and the power it gave him.

What needs your attention: The repetitiousness of slightly, remembered, and everything. Also drear should be dreary. I think with stronger verbs and less usage of passive voice the story would move along much better.

Favorite Parts: The paragraph about the woman and how she made him feel. Clearly, in the story she played the men against each other and chose the older man to the dismay of the narrator. Thou I have the feeling the narrator feels conflicted to which one caused him pain.

Overall Impression: Yes, the story has potential and could be stronger with some word revisions. I will come back around to see how it has evolved.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .