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Review #4053876
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Review by Charlie ~ Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.0)
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Hello, D. B. DeVilliers Author Icon. My name is Charlie and I'm happy to be reviewing your poem, "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. today. Keep in mind that the following is just one reader's opinion. I am not a professional and you know your writing best. If you find something helpful here, use it. If you don't, feel free to disregard this review completely. *Peace2*

*Beakerr* General Impressions: This is a quick and interesting poem. The title and description made me want to read more. I was curious about what sort of conversation the devil and a man might engage each other in. Your poem answered that curiosity nicely. The first line caught my attention because you jumped right into their conversation.

*Beakerb* Best Parts: I thought it was cool how the devil and the man were one in the same. It was clearly a big realization for the man that he couldn't rid himself of the devil without defeating himself as well. The devil knows that he has the man right where he wants him. I liked the imagery of the devil smiling as he acknowledged this fact. He's taunting the man in a way that we always assume the devil would.

*Beakero* Possible Suggestions: I wasn't really feeling the last stanza as a whole. I like the second line because it built some imagery that we didn't have at any other point in the poem, but the overuse of the word 'and' stood out to me quite a bit. I also wasn't sure how I felt about the last line, 'and he vanished'. It felt like the conversation was building, but the end was a bit dissatisfying as it felt there should be more between these two. I do realize that the devil had gotten what he wanted so now he vanished, but it felt like there needed to be just a slightly more conclusive ending there.

*Beakerv* Summary: There aren't any issues with grammar and I feel that the point of your poem came across clearly. I felt like the use of the word 'and' in each line at the end was a bit distracting. The ending was lacking in comparison to the rest of the poem. Thanks again for sharing!

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