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Review #4052255
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (3.5)
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Welcome to WDC Rayna!. I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Cat*

*Fairyr*I was drawn to the title on the Read A Newbie page and I like haiku so I had to look!!*Cool*

*Fairyr*LOL I can see the silliness here and had to smile. How unique! The title certainly works here. LOL I liked how you conceived this idea.

*fariyr*I was drawn in to the image in the first line withits clear vivid image of the bird and time of day. The alliteration worked too to emulate a sound quality. the last line may make this a senryu/haiku mix.

*Fairyr*The Haiku format in 3 lines and apt syllables is correct.
Haiku poems capture one moment in time and your second line suggests a movement of time from dawn to night time. so the form is a bit off in this way. Also tradtional form uses very little punctuation and captial letters. eg Monday is ok. *Smile*

*Fairyr*Still this poem is effective in it evoking a response and involving the reader in jumping to another perspective.

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing your creative haiku expression. It is a difficult form to perfect but fun to learn. Keep on Haikuing!
You might like to play here "Haiku and Senryu: A Contest and More....Open in new Window.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar

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