Review number # 2 of week October 23rd-29th, 2014

Hi Charlie

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Bread On The Altar

First Impression: Made me think of the times from my past. I can feel the intensity of the emotion when you refer to the older man as the lecherous elite, money does tend to create monsters who believe they can do anything, the rules do not apply.

What I liked: When will he rid himself of me. You created very tormented images for the reader, of a young man clearly in anguish. I remember all to well thinking similar thoughts.

What needs your attention: I actually like the way you let the poem dangle down the page, like it the boy's blood dripping down from the altar. I think I have mentioned before a poem centered on the page speaks loudly of a writers belief in his work to me.

Favorite Parts: The hope that he will purge himself of sins like me, that particular line/image screams so many emotions to me.

Overall Impression: It is very well written but for me also very difficult. I feel like you were inside my head, feeling everything I did. I know the subject is male but it easily could be a young female as well. I hope your writing is finding the exorcism you so need.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .