Hi ANN Counselor, Lesbian & Happy . My name is Carly and I am doing this review on behalf of "Invalid Item" . I have just read your Shakespearean Sonnet "Invalid Item" , which I found when perusing the list of people who had completed the Poetry Harvest Contest and wanted to share my thoughts with you. Please keep in mind this is only my opinion. Feel free to use or disregard my advise as you see fit. The poem is ultimately your creative work. Overall Impressions: Looking at your list of poems that you submitted for the Harvest I was impressed with how many you accomplished. Well done, my friend. A blogger and a poet, you most certainly are. I love nature poems and you guide your reader on a pleasant journey, experiencing the beauty of a Morning Glory. Form: You have chosen to create an English (Shakespearean) Sonnet. I appreciate that information at the bottom of your piece letting us novices know what a true sonnet entails. (check the spelling on iambic pentameter). Personally, I find iambic pentameter tricky but I think you do a fine job crafting your words within the form's perimeters and expectations. Lines are to follow 10 beats and stay with the iambic feet. "Their fragrances, wafting in breezes, suffice." reads as 11 beats instead of 10 - although, I like the line - I would forgive it. Though on second read, it could be my own pronounciation that bogs me up - particularly if I change fragrances (3 beats) to fragrance (2 beats). Drop the 's' and it is perfect. All other lines are 10 beats and contain such sweet language I am not certain about the iambic aspect (that is a challenge for me - and I just wanted to enjoy). Nothing tripped me up so I think it flowed wonderfully. Techniques: You craft images with your words in such a way that I am drawn in and can picture the Morning Glory as it meets the day. I can see the bees and butterflies flitting about. I can smell the fragrance. I can almost feel the soft petals. Great use of calling in the senses. Enjambment is used to create a sweetness in the flow. Alliteration in 'simple smile sweetens'. Assonance in 'green leaves'. Even some personification with the 'strong limbs cling tightly'. Favourite Part: I really like your whole poem. You created a wonderful experience with your words. I particularly liked "When the evening coolness seeks to cajole." and "Strong limbs cling tightly to plaited lattice.' Suggestions: Other than changing fragrances to frangrance and (iambicpentame to iambic pentameter, I saw no other instances of spelling or grammar. Additional Comments: Great work, Ann. You created a lovely piece that shines. I look forward to checking out you other harvested poems. Good luck in any of the contests you are doing. Are you doing the "Invalid Item" or the "Verdant Poetry Contest" ? I enjoyed reading your work. Thank you for sharing it. I hope my review was helpful and encouraging! My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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