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Review #4036641
Viewing a review of:
 Where I Belong  [E]
Something I wrote for an English Class.
by SpaceDonkeyPrime
Review of Where I Belong  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hooks:

*Hook* The title "Where I Belong" , is a good hook for an emotional poem.

*Hockey* Headings are a good way, to grab a reader's attention. With a genre of Emotional only, I am not so inspired to go ahead and read.

*Hockey* Readers are what writers need. Convince a reader to read your work. Do not apologize for what you have written. If you are going to publish it, be proud. Just stating that this was written as an assignment for school, and needs a peer review, is a straight forward request for what you need to accomplish.

Descriptions:

*Boxcheck* I like the way you use words, to describe time and motion: "Sometimes I say I belong in many places
Sometimes I am not sure where I belong
The answers are always changing
They never stay the same..."

*Boxcheck* Another description I like is, "...I always belong in this sprawling web,
Where it is always easy to find someone who shares my ideas
Always easy to learn, and to meet new people..." That is a feeling that many people share, in my opinion, and you put it very eloquently.

Character: Self
*Person* This is a poem of emotions.

Formatting:

*Documentbl*: The layout is good. It is obvious that there is a start, middle and end.

*Document*: The writer's emotions show up, and there is a sadness present. The writer describes his / her feeling of isolation, even when in a crowd. There were changes in tense, and number that is easy to have happen, when writing from the heart. "...I was brought up by my family = Past.
They raised me as I grew = Past
We always fight about anything = Present
It can go on for days = Present / Future
Still, we manage to get on well = Present
They make me feel like I belong..." = Present

Again, this is so easy to do when writing from deep emotion.

*Rainbowl* Overall: *Rainbowr* : The three point rating is not a negative. "Where I Belong," is an expressive poem, or work of prose that does an excellent job at explaining the angst of living someone else's dream or reality.

Re-write, and read aloud to yourself, and be proud of your work. You are a writer, your muse and you produced it; be proud.

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/08/2014 @ 9:29pm EDT
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