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 Review #4036404 |
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| (4.0)  Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.  The interesting title made me open this poem and read it. Although I don't usually read small poems, for example, haikus but this one drew my attention and here I am  Jealousy is a topic that many can relate to. It happens with everyone and everyday, no one can deny it. Be it from something really small or something really big.Your haiku was written on a good topic and I liked the theme. However, perfection in haiku lies in the exact and particular word choice. It has to be a term that covers not only one but wide aspects or definitions and seem better. For example, you could use synonyms for hurt, kills, rips us apart etc. I felt that you could have mentioned how jealousy could change a person. In my point of view, this was kind of a decent change, like being destroyed. But imagine if someone becomes evil and wicked due to it? Selfish? Murderous? ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 09/07/2014 @ 1:34pm EDT