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Review #4036318
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Set Free  Open in new Window.
Review by ~ Aqua ~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Muse Masters Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


A Muse Masters Poetry Review
Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot. *Angel*


*Starg* GENERAL:

Freedom a topic on which there can be many things written, be it a script, dialogue, anthem, poem, story, article and whatever you can think of! I recently wrote a poem on freedome "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. and it is about freedom. What I liked about your poem was that you not only deliver the message about freedom being priceless, a gift that can never be exchanged for another, but also the theme of our parents wanting best for us. I didn't expect the twist at the end and I really like the positive element in the poem. *Thumbsup*

*Starg* CONVENTIONS:

The flow of your poem was really good. I enjoyed the rhyming scheme as well and if it is a particular form, I would like you to mention it in your poem. The meter didn't seem awkward. The rhyming scheme in your poem was consistent throughout though at places I felt that there could have been a better word matching the rhyme. I loved the poetic devices you used to give a powerful impact on the reader. The lines with the poetic devices were really strong and I enjoyed most of them!

*Starg* SPELLING/GRAMMAR:

==>but they didn't listen to a word.
but they didn't listen a word. OR but they didn't listen to a single word.

==>and I had no where to go.
Read the first stanza and you will see that the sentence seems better off without 'and'.

*Starg* AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT:

The only think I would suggest for improvement is writing less sentences, more phrases. Poetry is like incomplete sentences, a way of art, the way you write sentences in phrases that makes sense and when read, are absolutely beautiful! Also, I would like to see a better vocabulary. Strong vocabulary. Though your poem had a good and really strong objective and at places, it was perfect but at other places, it seemed just like another regular poem, make it special, put more heart in it, search high level vocabulary, more descriptive words that not only keep the rhyme but maintain the flow *Smile*

*Starg* EXCELLENT WRITING EXAMPLES:

The thing I loved about your poem was the theme and the ending. I liked how you showed the bird as children that grow up and even though they think that parents may be harsh to them, they are only doing this to set their base so that they can continue to do whatever they want, choose a career, choose the study field they want etc *Smile*

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/07/2014 @ 8:54am EDT
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