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![]() | here there be dragons ![]() a decuain--I think of my muse as a dragon pushing me into more than I think I can do ![]() |
This is a neat poem form and new to me. I'm reviewing this as part of the Sr Mod Birthday Challenge. I like the idea behind this of slipping away and finding a dragon. Your word choices have captured a mystical quality. You've done a good job with following the form of a Decuain - 10 lines, 10 syllables each, and you've used a "ababbcbcaa" rhyme scheme. A few phrases struck me as odd and didn't flow as well as they might with a little tweaking: - "slipped beyond my sight" ... I'm not even sure what this means. Maybe "slipped beyond all sight" or "slipped past mortal sight" ?? - "and felt that touching" ... what did this fell like? Maybe "its rippling warmth" or "and it firm strength altered"?? - "to see with a new light" ... this struck me as somewhat cliche. Maybe "to see with dragon sight"?? I loved these lines: "my musings filled with dragons in the snow" "a dragon with his fire aglow" "and words that echo dreams of dragon flight" Nice poem! Cobe ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
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