Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

Overall impression: Strong descriptive detail makes this a good story. The story idea is well developed in a style that is easy to read.

Characterization: The woman telling the story is not named. Her account is passionate, mysterious, and desperate. The reader is pulled into her account until the end. Giving the character a name would be of some help.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes ▼



When you have a chance stop by "Invalid Item"  Then write a story and enter for a chance to win. Thanks, on behalf of pinkbarbie and Paul.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .