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Hi there debby4fm, 
 
I am ♫~ Kenword~♫ , a fellow author on Writing.com (WdC), and I would like to welcome you to this creative site for writers of all levels.

I chose  "Invalid Item"  to read from the Review A Newbie Forum of WdC. I enjoyed reading your poem and I am delighted to discuss your work.
 
My review is based solely on impressions and feelings your poem inspired. While I may suggest some minor revisions, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions in the hopes that they may be a help and an encouragement. Please take what you think is appropriate and disregard the rest.
 
 FIRST IMPRESSION
 
The rainbow is used as a metaphor for the way one's lover might be viewed. The image works wonderfully to describe the way love may be perceived and also how love might be generated from one moment to the next. I enjoyed the twist as the rainbow becomes a contrast for the way one's lover is more beautiful than the rainbow.
 
 THEME
 
Love must be expressed. Unexpressed love is torture and depressive. Love needs to be lit up in words and vision. In this poem, as the rainbow is imagined, it is imperative to imagine that one's love is more beautiful than the mystical lights and colors of a rainbow.
 
 STRUCTURE
 
The poem is written in free verse with a force that works very well outside the confines of a traditional meter and rhyming pattern. The primary image, the rainbow, works beautifully to contrast the myriad of feeling one has for their love.
 
 WHAT I LIKED
 
These are some of the images that were memorable to me:

what i behold was beyond my imagination.

The first thing i imagine was the rainbow.

           

...but your beauty was made up of undefined colors.


           

You are so captivating,

that the Angels fall for you.

           
 
SUGGESTIONS
 
The central image in your poem, the rainbow, is memorable because of the natural beauty and wonder of it and works well to contrast the deepest feelings of love. The metaphor and image works very well.
 
 EDIT/REVISION
 
These are several corrections I would suggest:
 
but your beauty appears every seconds. second
 
sometimes, I imagine why the rainbow bend bends
 
hmm, the rainbow bents. bends


 IN SUMMARY
 
The wonder of one's lover is imagined to be like a rainbow. But then, no. The lover is so much more than the rainbow. The emotion and passion becomes almost mystical as Angels are captivated by this beautiful person. Magical. Great work!
 
I hope my thoughts and feelings are a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

~Kenword~
 






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .