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Review #4034787
Viewing a review of:
 A Pelican Crossed Open in new Window. [13+]
Nonsense poem about pelicans, written for Writers Cramp.
by Jellyfish Author Icon
Review of A Pelican Crossed  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Muse Masters Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A Muse Masters Poetry Review
*Fairyr* Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions.
Take what you can use, and throw the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day. *Fairyl*


Hello Jenny! I found your piece as an entrance into the Writers Cramp and I'm reviewing it as part of the Sr. Mod Challenge.

INTRODUCTION:
*Fairyr* The title is fun. I like the first part of the summary, but you don't need to add that it was written for the Writers Cramp. You've written that at the bottom of the poem, and that should be sufficient. Always think of the title, summary, and image as the same as the cover of a book. It's what makes people decide if they want to click through and read your poem.

TONE/MOOD AND EMOTIONAL IMPACT:
*Fairyr* The poem was definitely comical. Your writing had a fun beat throughout for the most part, and it went well with this playful piece.

FORM, RHYME, METER:
*Fairyr* This is a seven stanza quatrain written in iambic and trochaic tentrameter. The rhyme scheme is aabb, ccdd, etc. You have a good flow most of the way through, but a couple different lines gave me pause.
*Quill* "A group of pelicans were stood,"
*Fairyr* I think this would read better if it said, "A group of pelicans there stood..."
*Quill* "In attire from the Wild West!"
*Fairyr* I'm not sure exactly how you would fix this, but the beat is off slightly.

POETIC DEVICES:
*Fairyr* I love the use of alliteration in poetry. I think it always adds something, and I really like it in a funny or silly poem. Great groups that you wrote here:
*Quill* "bad bird brawl, something strange, Perhaps purchase,"
*Fairyr* I also thought your personification of the Pelican was fun!

GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION:
*Fairyr* I didn't notice any issues with your punctuation. *Thumbsup*

FAVORITE LINE(S):
*Fairyr* It's hard to pick out my favorites, but I do have a couple. This stanza is great! *Smile*
*Quill* "That pelican - he drew his gun,
It glistened in the midday sun.
He glared at me all beady eyed,
His comrades standing at his side."
*Fairyr* And the ending was funny. How would the character know to bring his gun? It's one of those morbidly funny poems. I've written a few of those recently, too.
*Quill* "I hit the ground and as I fell,
This rising thought I could not quell,
That average Autumn day in Bristol-
I should have thought to bring a pistol."

*Fairyr* I am impressed that this poem was written in one day. I'm sure you had a lot of fun! I enjoyed it a lot. Keep up the great work!!! Until next time... live, laugh, and write! *Penbl*


My muse is a Poetry Pixie dressed in Pink

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/07/2014 @ 7:57am EDT
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