Hello, I am PandaPaws and I am reviewing this piece as part of the Simply Positive Group!

Welcome to writing.com; I hope you find a home here just as I have!

How I found your piece...I am reviewing four newbies today and I came across your piece on the random review page.

First impressions...At first glance it seems more like a list but the sentiments and theme here are worthy of a poem.

Was the title interesting...yes, love the title

Was the content rating appropriate...I would go for a rating of 13+ on this one, mainly because of the theme and the mention of bleeding wrists.

Did you use a specific form of poetry...none detected.

Did you follow the form...n/a

Was there a rhyme scheme- what was it...n/a

Did the rhymes seem forced...n/a

Were words forced to fit syllable count...n/a

Was there rhythm and flow...the flow in a bit interrupted by the large spaces between your lines. I think I would condense it down a bit on a rewrite.

Any errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation...none noted

Things I would change...I would keep the spacing to single spacing. I would also try to make the lines more equal in syllable counts. T he thoughts are great but it comes off more like a list at the beginning. Try more alliteration in the piece to keep the rhythm consistent. I did enjoy the theme and content though.

If you do an edit and rewrite I would love to review this again for you. I think you have some wonderful thoughts that just need a bit more structure to be perfect poems!

Keep up the wonderful writing!


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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .