Hello, I am PandaPaws and I am reviewing this piece as part of the Simply Positive Group!

Welcome to Writing.com. I hope you find the warmth and friendship that I have found within this site.

How I found your piece...I am reviewing four newbies tonight and I came across your portfolio yesterday and remembered you had a poem and that is my specialty.

First impressions...I enjoyed your poem very much. It says a great deal about our society today, I hope you do very well in your creative writing class with this piece.

Was the title interesting...yes, it drew me into wanting to read and review this piece.

Was the content rating appropriate...yes, there is nothing above an 'e' rating within this poem.

Did you use a specific form of poetry...no it is free verse.

Did you follow the form...n/a

Was there a rhyme scheme- what was it...there is no rhyme scheme within the poem but you so use some rhyme and internal rhyme within it - great job!

Did the rhymes seem forced...the rhymes seem natural and none of them feel forced. You have done a wonderful job with this.

Were words forced to fit syllable count...n/a

Was there rhythm and flow...you created rhythm and flow with your excellent use of alliteration and assonance within your piece.

Any errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation...I noted no errors in any of these areas. The only thing I would suggest would be to not capitalize the first word in every line. This used to be the standard, however now it is standard to follow general grammar rules with capitalization

Things I would change...other than the capitalization I would change nothing.

Favorite parts/lines...my favorite lines were...

So long useless living room,
No longer will I slowly die within you.

All I can think of is my husband spending all day long on his computer.

Excellent job, keep up the great work!


** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .