Hello, I am PandaPaws and I am reviewing this piece as part of the Simply Positive Group!

Welcome to Writing.com. I hope you find a wonderful niche here for yourself and your writing.

How I found your piece...I am reviewing four newbies tonight and yours was the second portfolio I found interesting pieces in.

First impressions...Honestly, I would love to see s as a free verse poem. You have wonderful thoughts and ideas within these lines. However, written as a paragraph form it lacks structure and grammar. If this were written as free verse you could get away with sentence fragments and it would be beautiful. As I said your ideas are great and the imagery is wonderful.

I found no errors in spelling, there were grammar issues and punctuation but I feel if you rewrite as a poem these would be limited.

I hope to read more of your work and if you decide to rewrite this I would love to have you send me a link.

Good luck with all your writing!




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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .