Hello, I am PandaPaws and I am reviewing this piece as part of the Simply Positive Group!

I want to welcome you to Writing.com, I hope you find this to be a home for you and your writing.
How I found your piece...I am trying to review 4 newbies tonight and you were the first newbie I found with an item in their portfolio.

First impressions...I realize this is just a draft so I will give an overview of what I found.

First, this is a very personal and heavy subject and you broach it well. I found myself wanting to help the children in the piece. I don't know whether this is fiction or not but you have made it very believable.

You will want to go back and edit this piece though. There are quite a few run-on sentences and spelling errors throughout. There are also grammar errors. Of course, as I stated this is only a draft and I am sure you know that editing will need to be done.

You have done a wonderful job with this emotional piece. I look forward to reading more of your work. If you would like, please send me a link to this after the editing and I will be more than glad to review the finished product.

Great job and again, welcome to the site!

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .