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Review #4034565
Viewing a review of:
 Downfall uninterrupted  Open in new Window. [E]
This is my first posting here. Pertains to the inner most turbulations of a broken mind.
by Saraii Author Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Nice Signature Made For Me by b.meridith!

What brought the Hand of THiNG to your port?

*Ghost*I was looking to read something new by someone new to the site! I would like to wave a very warm welcome to you!

What Does THiNG think about while perusing your item?

*Cool**Idea* I see a lot of vulnerability in this. It is written as prose, but somehow, it seems more like a poem to me.

I would post it, setting it up more like a poem so it reads:


"Eyes shut, mind numb,
disguised in third person.
Retract and recreate
thoughts of unstable dimensions,
flowing through parts unknown...."


And, so on. I would take out words like "the"


What does THiNG applaud about while reading your item?

I think this is quite a remarkable poem. I particularly like this part

"Another emotion, another dissociation"

Fear of the unknown and fear of rejection come through and I think a lot of us can identify very strongly with that. What I would suggest involves formatting it as a poem, but you might want to leave it as you have it.

Either way, this is wonderful writing!

Well done!

*Thumbsup*

THiNG a.k.a. HOOVES, a.k.a. COWser Soze, a.k.a. 4ps

*Pumpkin*DISCLAIMER*Witchhat*

I am not an expert on poetry or prose. I am merely a reader who loves to read.

*Leaf*END OF DISCLAIMER*Leaf*




Ta Ta until we meet again....

"Avoiding Toothless Rabid Bullies & Such" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/03/2014 @ 1:42pm EDT
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