I'm... confused. I'm not sure what the point of this story is. You go from talking about the rain to the accident to George going back to work. I realize it's supposed to be funny. And the comment about him not wearing glasses would be funny, if it followed along.

I was just very confused by all the different elements:
1) the rain
2) the eyes in the jar
3) the mention of Sandra and the taxi
4) the couple grabbing "weapons" before bed
5) the return to work

I really like what I think was the idea--which was George getting into the accident and the punchline of the glasses. I think if you streamline it a bit, it will read much better. Your writing is sound and you've got a great base here, it just kind of wanders around a bit.

Just some grammar comments in addition:
“Pissing”, she—comma then quotes

Tomorrow, she—no comma

If.. she—ellipses have three periods

All the quotes should be comma then the quote